Following the successful launch of the Nintendo 3DS last week, Nintendo fans got a treat when it was revealed this Friday morning that the next version of the hand-held portable would be called the “Nintendo 4DS”, and support what game industry experts call “time-altering software”.

The Infinite Generation Portable

One of the lead developers was quoted in an interview as saying “After pioneering motion-based controllers and releasing the first 3D device that doesn’t require goofy glasses, we figured space-time vortex manipulation was the obvious next step. At Nintendo, we don’t just think of our products as ‘gaming devices,’ but as devices that let you alter the fabric of space and time itself”. President and CEO of Nintendo of America Reginald “Reggie” Fils-Aime was also quoted as saying “Cha-ching!”.

Nintendo software engineer Hubert Farnsworth said that the device uses patented time-extending and compressing software, based on the same technology that makes standardized tests seem to last forever. “Once we realized it was possible to warp time through the mere application of algebra and geometry, it was a simple leap to designing a working time-warping chip (TWC),” Farnsworth said. “I can’t imagine any problems with putting this technology in the hands of children.”

Nintendo had no comment on rumors that 11th Century Chinese Emperor Shigeru Miyamoto, whose name is the same as the famed creator of Mario and The Legend of Zelda, was actually a time traveler from the future who used his collection of innovative platformers and game mechanics to conquer the country in less than 2 years.

What do you think? Will Nintendo’s ability to make you your own grandfather pay off or will it be crushed by Sony’s PSP2, which supports a revolutionary (for Sony) touchpad.

Future Release Date

Nintendo also announced they will have the device finished in a couple hundred years. Despite this production delay, Nintendo promises they will then use the completed Nintendo 4DS to travel back in time so that the device will be available by the holidays. Price is expected to be around 50 trillion dollars, and comes with a 2GB memory card, RAR (really-augmented-reality) cards, and a plutonium charging station.